I have spent almost my entire 20’s as an artist, afraid to be seen. Even typing the word “artist” in relation to myself scares me. But that is what I am and that is what I aim to do. I like to create. I have tried so many different methods of creating. All of these methods have filled my head with confusion. I enjoy a lot of them, how can I pick just one? Do I have to pick just one? How will my audience know what it is I am doing? Over the years I have made so many things and before those things are even seen by my audience, I get scared. My personality strives for perfection. If a hint of doubt enters my mind, I bail. Even in relation to starting this blog today, I thought “oh I’ve got to have my website all fixed up and perfect before sharing this.”
Thank goodness for my life partner who has finally called me out for it because I am seriously so over being in my head about it. I have trained for over 5 years. I am an artist. I love creating and that is my thing.
Since bringing our son Theodore into the world in April, getting back into the swing of work has been challenging. If you have tried this before, you know what I mean. I will speak of it in detail in the future, but it is hard. When you have a baby, relationships change. Relationships with your spouse, your friends. But most importantly, the relationship you have with yourself changes. You become a whole lot less important. You forget to check in.
All of this has really led me to right here. The last 5+ years of work. The doubt I have as a creator. My family. My desire to work.
I want to be more open and share honestly about my process as someone who creates. I am continuing on my journey to finding what it is I want to share with the world creatively. We all have things that get in our way of moving forward and I am jumping over that thing. I’d love for you to be a part of my community if you are interested. Especially if you feel you can relate.
I look forward to sharing much more with you and in the mean time hope you have a wonderful Thanksgiving with the people in your life you hold close.